Anotacións do mes September, 2009

Universidade/University

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

O meu benquerido P estivo tentando (sen suceso) traducir este blog. Asi que polo menos podera entender este pequeno post, jaja. É un pequeno Babel-blog agora.

Levo un tempiño estando estresada, probablemente polo inminente comezo da Universidade. Esta sendo duro, teño que recoñecelo. O meu traballo está indo a peor todolos dias, e teño que estar de pe 8 horas sorrindo coma unha idiota mentres penso en matar a cada pasaxeiro que ven cunha pregunta estupida. Por suposto, tamén me sinto culpable porque odio pensar asi. Pero ás veces non podo evitalo porque Odio o meu traballo (é oficial!). O bó que ten é que podo trocar os turnos. E necesito seguir traballando para poder seguir estudiando! Se teño sorte, cando empeze na Universidade poderei buscar calquera outra cousa mellor que este traballo.
Fun a un dia introductorio o Sábado, e teño que recoñecer que a miña Universidade é impresionante e incluso bonitiña. Estiven moi nerviosa, e asustada. O día de matriculación será o vindeiro luns. Espero poder con todo.
P chegou o sábado tras 6 semanas eternas en Noruega. Velo outra vez fixome sentir algo incomoda, e a pesares de botalo moitisimo en falta, precisei dun par de horas para deixar que saisen os sentimentos. Sintome insegura sobre todo tódolos dias, é dificil ter suceso nunha relacion coma esta, pero estou abraiada dos pasos que xa levamos dado, sen ningunha axuda e só sendo nós mesmos. O meu ex mozo matou todas as miñas expectativas, pero P amañouse para crear unhas novas, o que me asusta dun xeito que non podo explicar. Só lembro estar en Madrid pensando que a morte era unha mellor alternativa que superar o do meu ex, realmente sentin que morría. Pero bueno, supereino e non quero volver a pasar por iso. Que podemos facer ó respecto? Non teño nin idea, pero sei que quero pelexar por isto. Somos diferentes, pero cando estamos xuntos sinto algo xirando ó noso arredor. Sinxelamente, quéroo.


My dear P has been trying (unsuccessfully) to translate this blog. So, at least, he will be able to understand this little post, haha. It’s a little Babel-blog now :)

I’ve been having stressing times lately, probably because of the upcoming start of University. It’s being hard, I must admit. My job is getting worse and worse everyday and I must stand 8 hours, smiling like an idiot while thinking on kill every passenger who comes to me with a stupid question. Of course, I’m feeling guilty as well, I really hate thinking like this. But sometimes I can’t just avoid it, because I hate my job (it’s official!). The good thing about it it’s the swapping shifts thing. And I need to keep on working in order to keep on studying! Hopefully, as soon as I start in Uni I will be able to apply for anything better than this job.
I went for an induction day on Saturday, and I must admit that my Uni is really impressive and even beautiful!! I was really excited in there, and scared. The matriculation will be carried next Monday. I hope to cope with everything.
P arrived on Saturday after 6 eternal weeks in Norway. Seeing him again felt awkward, and in spite of missing him loads, I needed a couple of hours to let my feelings flow. I’m feeling unsure about everything everyday, it’s hard having any success on a relationship like this, but I’m surprised of the steps we’ve been taking so far, without any help and just being ourselves. My ex boyfriend killed all my expectations, but P is managing to create new ones, which scares me in a way I can’t explain. I just remember being in Madrid thinking that death was a better option than get over my ex, I really felt like dying. But well, I got over it, and I don’t want to be there again. What can we do about that? I have no idea at all, but I know that I want to fight for this. We are different, but when we are together I feel something spinning around us. I just simply love him